America: The Land of Opportunism

I was helping my office intern with her paper on Latin American identity in the U.S., and I told her she should title it "America: The Land of Opportunism" based on the following conclusions:

• We want drugs, but not Latin American drug cartels.
• We want cheap food and services, but not cheap illegal labor.
• We think everyone should speak English here, although the U.S. does not have an official language, nor do most Americans attempt to speak the native language when traveling abroad.
• We are all descendants of immigrants, but we restrict immigration and only accept those who are skilled, well-educated, or sensational athletes.
• We guarantee civil rights, except in Arizona.

And apparently, we're also self-loathing.